Rant #26: Least Favorite Songs

I think I have to acknowledge what day it is today, and get this nonsense out of the way. Happy 4/20. I just learned what it meant yesterday -- if you don't know, Google it -- and will not be celebrating it, other than lying in my bed with a People magazine and some crystalized ginger. And if you're celebrating 4/20, don't tell me about it. For God's sake, my poor mother reads this. (Shout out to MOMMY.) That's all.

Now, recently I was having a conversation with a dear friend -- let's call her Yibamani. The subject of Justin Bieber came up. I don't have a strong opinion on Justin, other than that his recent SNL appearance was disappointing, he can't sing live, and his hair is ridiculous. (Who am I kidding? Of course I have an opinion). Yibamani, however, finds several of his songs -- he's quite prolific -- "catchy". If you don't know, Justin's songs consist of the same few words: over, and over, and over again. Normally I'm ambivalent to this sort of thing; in general, I just don't listen to music I don't like. In Justin Bieber's case, however, I make an exception.

Because the title of one of his popular songs?

One Less Lonely Girl.

That's right. Less. Not fewer. Less. I'll give you a moment to let that sink in. I'll give you a moment to shut your gaping mouth, and relax your astonished eyebrows, and to stop muttering "dangkidsdangschoolsnobodyteachingthemgrammarnowadaysandtheyjustdon'tcareohWHATisthisworldCOMINGto?!". 

And he sings it OVER, and OVER, and OVER again.

Dang kids. Dang schools. Nobody teaching them grammar nowadays, and they just don't care. WHAT is this world COMING to?!

I'm feelin' a list comin' on.

Emma's Top Five Least Favorite Recent Popular Songs in No Particular Order, by Emma

1. Justin Bieber's "One Less Lonely Girl" [sic].
2. Trey Songz's "Say Ahh". What does that even mean? It's universal in its inappropriateness. Shout-out to those with me last night, who brought up this crucial question.
3. Taylor Swifts's "Fifteen". First of all, she did not "give him all she had". She had far more than what she gave him. This fifteen-year-old girl will be just fine. My second problem is the line "when you're fifteen, and/someone tells you they love you". Someone: singular. They: plural. It's not a hard concept, Taylor Swift. My third problem? This song is so dang catchy. And remarkably easy to belt out in the shower. Temptation abounds. Shout out to Chris.
4. Nickelback's "If Today Was Your Last Day". I think most of you can tell what my main objection to this song is. Grammar is not a hard concept. We have all sorts of examples of good grammar. Fiddler on the Roof, for one, with "If I Were a Rich Man". Even Beyonce got it right, with "If I Were a Boy". Also, this song is totally schmaltzy and over-the-top.
5. Pussycat Dolls' "I Hate This Part". Most inane, insufferable, interminable song ever.

What do you guys think? What are the songs you loathe the most?

Rave #24: Passover

As all the MOTs out there know, we're currently getting towards the end of Passover. For all the gentiles out there, happy Easter. (And for you, you know who you are: happy Sunday.)

For the gentiles: Passover is the Jewish spring holiday of rebirth. It's for seven days and eight nights, this year extending from last Monday evening (March 30th) and running until tomorrow, Monday (April 5th), at sundown. It celebrates the Jews' exodus from Egypt, led by Moses, and is celebrating by having seders, or ceremonial dinners involving lots of prayers, songs, and the re-telling of the exodus from Egypt. That's the mini-mini SparkNotes version, at least.

Every year, my grandfather hosts a seder at his house for the first night of Passover. My parents then host a seder at their house on the next available weekend. (Thus, last Monday Papa hosted his seder, and last Friday, my parents hosted theirs). Both are excellent.

Passover's one of my favorite holidays. Why? I'll make a list. While I know my mother would prefer 8 reasons for 8 nights, I really only have 5. I'll go for it anyway.

1. The communal aspect. For all my/their mockery, I love my family. They're always high entertainment value. This year, I convinced my 10- and 13-year-old male cousins that all the toilets at my all-girls high school were hot pink.
2. The food. While I can't stand matzah, (and before you object, let me explain: no Jews like matzah. It doesn't taste like anything, and, after only eating it for 7 days, the novelty wears off), the other food I love. Charoset, chopped apples with honey, wine, and nuts, is my favorite. 
3. The songs. I love almost all Passover songs. Every year, there's great debate in the IRIT household about the key we should go with (my father always complains Auntie Melon starts too low; Auntie Melon always accuses my father of starting too high; my mother then complains that that whole side of the family needs to stop kvetching). Go Down Moses is my jam.
4. Elijah. At my grandfather's seder It's excellent. Elijah comes. Wearing a sheet, bearing gifts, and, this year, for the first time, wearing bifocals. (Progressives, Elijah insists, but they are, in fact, a type of bifocals). 
5. The time of year. I love spring. Everyone's in a good mood. While this doesn't directly relate to Passover, it's still nice. Plus, I like how Passover coincides with Easter because that means a lot of chocolate's on sale.

Happy Passover, happy Easter, and happy spring. Have a lovely week. :)